My partner and I are falling out of love. What do we do?
First let’s talk about some of the signs that may become apparent as time goes on. The following are not always about falling out of love. There can be many reasons for them, but these are the most common.
- They don’t want to spend as much time with you as they used to, friends become more important
- Arguments and disagreements become more frequent
- Lovemaking takes the back burner, is infrequent and less pleasurable
- Communication becomes less and less important
- It feels like you are both on auto pilot, day in and day out
- Loneliness within the relationship becomes the norm
- You wonder why you are together
What causes this to happen? Here are some of the common reasons for love to fade
- Lack of intimacy, physical, or emotional
- Money issue
- Lack of proper communication
To save a relationship when one or both parties feel like they are falling out of love, takes work. You didn’t get here over night, so it will take some time. Doing the work, will not only save your marriage, but can also create a deeper, more loving bond.
Advice on how to fall in love with your partner again:
- Remember the things that made you fall in love in the first place.
- Check in with yourself. What has changed in you, from when you were first dating?
These are only some of the things that can change what once was a loving, romantic, sensuous relationship into something that resembles a roommate situation.
Take time to start dating each other again, so that love is rekindled or there is more love on both sides.
There are times when one or both partners feel like they are not getting the love they need in their relationships.
As time goes on, the relationship may become routine. There are domestic things that need to be done, children who need your attention, aging parents who need to be cared for.
Long term relationships sometimes feel like a job. It does not have to be this way.
When you first fell in love, you were sure that these things would be different.
You were romantic, you spent quality time together, shared interests, made love, and everything just flowed.
Relationships do not need to become boring, and you don’t need to fall out of love.
When it feels hard to love your spouse or significant other, I want you to remember this.
Think about what made you fall in love with that person in the first place.
What were some of the strengths of your partner, that you still admire in them? Focus on those.
And, when was the last time you commented on those strengths? If it’s been a while, then it’s been too long. Your partner just wants to be heard, validated and acknowledged.
- Being appreciative and in gratitude for them, daily, is a great way to keep the spark your relationship again.
- Planning something special for them, making an effort and follow through on it, will bring you more love and appreciation than you might have had for a long time.
- Spending quality time together.
Creating new romantic memories is key to keeping the spark alive. It truly doesn’t matter how old you are, what matters is that two people want to stay together, and they are willing to do what it takes to fall back in love with each other once again.
Need help? Got a relationship or self esteem question you want to ask? Want to book an appointment with Caterina? Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org or text her at 778-877-0682.
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